READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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