I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
