she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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