The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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