mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Boobs speak an international language.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
