My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize