Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
