I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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