P.S. I can't hear my feet
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize