I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
