Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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