i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
do nipples grow back?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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