But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm really busy with my period
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