why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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