Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
