just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
