Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
