Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
