his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
