i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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