i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
