I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
