In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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