Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize