did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
