My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize