I skipped work to stalk him.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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