sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize