Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize