Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
