haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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