WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
