It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
