Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
