so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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