i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
