Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Green mimosas i think yes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
