He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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