Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
