Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think my vagina is haunted
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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