apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
