My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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