O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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