I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
