I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize