I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think a kid would responsible me up
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dude. I can hear the air.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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