I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
