I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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