either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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