Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
