You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
