i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
