nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
