i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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