Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
