next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
