You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
