I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
