Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
