We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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