Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
