He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
