dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
3 2 1 whiskey
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
