Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
