All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
