So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We are two peas in an std pod
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
